Your phone won’t open with your thumbprint
If you use the thumbprint scanner to unlock your phone, you might find that it doesn’t want to unlock due the your griptape wearing down your thumbprint. As if you were some sort of criminal trying to make sure you leave no prints at the crime scene.
Maybe not holy in the same way the shroud of Turin is, but eventually your clothes start to look like you fell onto a belt sander, which is understandable as every time you fall onto concrete it’s going to start putting some holes in your clothes. Carrying your board won’t help stop the holes either as griptape is essentially just sandpaper, meaning every time you move your arm slightly while carrying your board it’s going to start putting a hole there. What’s the solution I hear you ask? Simple, don’t skate in your good clothes.
At least clothes with holes in are fashion.
Shoes are held together with glue
As mentioned in the point above, your griptape will sand anything that’s rubbed on it. Everytime you do a trick its going to start wearing a hole in your shoe, so if you want to make them shoes last a bit longer, you can either buy some shoe goo (the expensive option) or get the hot glue gun out and patch them up.
Excessive number of knots in your laces
Not because a group of boy scouts practised their knot tying skills on our shoes, but because of that griptape again. As a shoelace is only a small piece of material, it doesn’t take much to rip it.
It’s impractical to replace a shoe lace every week, so just tie the ends together when they rip.
You have an impressive ability to count stairs quickly
The years of jumping down stair sets have given you the useless ability to count how many stairs there is at an ungodly speed. You have no need to know within 1.5 seconds that that set has 12 steps, but you do.
The sound of wheels on pavement will get your attention
The sound of urethane clickity clacking along pavement, that almost unmistakable sound of a skateboard coming towards you.
I say almost as wheeled suitcases have tricked many a skater into believing there’s a board approaching.
You have a distain for small stones
A tiny stone will act like a brick wall if it gets stuck under your wheel and send you flying face first into the tarmac. I hate them, everybody hates them, perhaps the government should do something about them, as they can ruin your day with the resultant injury. Even if you get lucky and survive any injuries, there’ll still be a flatspot on your wheel to annoy you.
You have more stickers than you can do anything with
It started in childhood, your school books and files would be covered in skate stickers, you’d run out of places to stick them so just keep them in a box until you find somewhere to stick them, but you couldn’t stick them faster than you acquired them, so kept them in a box. That box kept growing and now 15 years later your fridge is covered in stickers, you car has some on, your phone, anything you can put them on has them on, yet you still have a box of stickers. But you can’t throw them away as you might find somewhere to stick them on.
World geography from random things like stairs.
From reading mags to watching skate videos, you’ll end up recognising spots around the world that even the locals wouldn’t know is in their hometown, stairs in schoolyards, flatbanks under bridges, many pads on loading bays, you instantly recognise where they are.
You know a lot of songs, not by the song title but by who’s video part it was in.
You can hear a song, rather than immediately think of the name of the artist and the track name you think to what skate video it was used in, and for who’s part.
Not the most useful in the music round of the pub quiz
Looking at everything as a skate spot.
Be it staring out the window of a bus or the background of a movie, you see the skate potential in everything, despite the fact it’s a set for a movie that you’re never going to be able to skate, you’ve still figured out a load of tricks that you would do on it.
You’re still searching for animal chin
You still haven’t found animal chin